As a reluctant member of the working masses, the Daily Grindstone’s author must assume the alias of Thomas Gradgrind to avoid detection from astute work colleagues and the ever watchful eye of ‘IT Support.’ Like an infinitely less effective version of Clark
Whilst 'being a hard-worker' may be seen as the perfect characteristic to complement intelligence, the two are in fact, mutually exclusive. As intelligence rises, the motivation to work hard declines in equal proportion. If you are blessed with the ability to process complex thoughts, it does not take long to discover that, when contracted to a fixed salary, doing less provides the same or greater happiness than doing more. The loafer can fill the time they have liberated from their employer by developing private interests or by harvesting knowledge from Wikipedia. The less enlightened worker will remain engaged in a fruitless quest to satisfy their employers hunger for productivity until sleep eventually calls time on the sorry process. Sticking it to the man can be as easy as simply… doing less. In contrast to pasts protest where men have fought and died for change, bringing about a fairer deal for workers simply requires that you to take the time to do nothing.
The humble tea break is our fore fathers finest legacy. Every day, businesses lose thousands to lost hours spent brewing hot drinks. Embrace this opportunity to remind your employer of the power you hold and take every opportunity to enjoy a long and drawn out vacation from your desk. When making a cup of tea, ensure that you always boil a full kettle (it is amazing how much extra time you can accumulate through doing this) and adopt an uncharacteristically generous demeanour by offering to also make refreshments for your colleagues (extra tea equals extra time). Whilst making tea is unlikely to feature highly on anybodies career wish list, there is little greater enjoyment than a mid afternoon daydream listening to the soothing tones of steam rising from a coffee cup. So get refreshed and get empowered.
When you have finished your cup of tea, take up smoking. It is not often that you will hear these words, but in the workplace, the smoker is a visionary and role model for the would-be slacker. For each tea break that the non-smoker can commandeer, the smoker can match this and ‘raise them one.’ Cigarette breaks have somehow entered the public conscious as being an immutable right, and even the most restrictive employer is reluctant to legislate their length and frequency. Exploit your employer’s cowardice and develop a taste for slow burning Cuban cigars. If you are particularly committed to clawing back your time (and have lungs made of asbestos), Shisha pipes can be made to burn for several hours.
Not every freedom fighter should be a long haired communist adorning the t-shirts of unwashed students, so begin your personal fight for freedom and commence the covert war against the atrocities of work. It is greater to be bright but lazy than dull but diligent.
As a reluctant member of the working masses, the Daily Grindstone’s author must assume the alias of Thomas Gradgrind to avoid detection from astute work colleagues and the ever watchful eye of ‘IT Support.’ Like an infinitely less effective version of Clark Kent
Being “a hard worker” is often used to describe a man’s good character. Whilst it is held in the same esteem as intelligence, the two are in fact, mutually exclusive. As intelligence rises, the motivation to work hard declines in equal proportion. If you are blessed with complex thought processes, it does not take long to discover that, when contracted to a fixed salary, doing less provides the same or greater happiness than doing more. The loafer can fill the time they have liberated from their employer by developing private interests or by harvesting knowledge from Wikipedia. The less enlightened worker will remain engaged in a fruitless quest to satisfy their employers hunger for productivity until sleep eventually calls time on the sorry process. Sticking it to the man can be as easy as simply… doing less. In contrast to pasts protest where men have fought and died for change, bringing about a fairer deal for workers simply requires that you to take the time to do nothing.
The humble tea break is our fore fathers finest legacy. Every day, businesses lose thousands to lost hours spent brewing hot drinks. Embrace this opportunity to remind your employer of the power you hold and take every opportunity to enjoy a long and drawn out vacation from your desk. When making a cup of tea, ensure that you always boil a full kettle (it is amazing how much extra time you can accumulate through doing this) and adopt an uncharacteristically generous demeanour by offering to also make refreshments for your colleagues (extra tea equals extra time). Whilst making tea is unlikely to feature highly on anybodies career wish list, there is little greater enjoyment than a mid afternoon daydream listening to the soothing tones of steam rising from a coffee cup. So get refreshed and get empowered.
When you have finished your cup of tea, take up smoking. It is not often that you will hear these words, but in the workplace, the smoker is a visionary and role model for the would-be slacker. For each tea break that the non-smoker can commandeer, the smoker can match this and ‘raise them one.’ Cigarette breaks have somehow entered the public conscious as being an immutable right, and even the most restrictive employer is reluctant to legislate their length and frequency. Exploit your employer’s cowardice and develop a taste for slow burning Cuban cigars. If you are particularly committed to clawing back your time (and have lungs made of asbestos), Shisha pipes can be made to burn for several hours.
Not every freedom fighter should be a long haired communist adorning the t-shirts of unwashed students, so begin your personal fight for freedom and commence the covert war against the atrocities of work. It is greater to be bright but lazy than dull but diligent.
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