As another weekend draws to an untimely end, 35 hours of soul destroying tedium circles through your conscious like a corporate feathered vulture. Sunday's television schedule does little to distract you from the thoughts of a job that you once donned your finest suit to secure, and here, in a moment of depressing clarity is the realisation that, "this is your life." Instead of a red book filled with your greatest feats and wittiest one-liners, the best that you can achieve is two pages of Arial 11 point detailing your employment history and one or two hobbies that you added in a desperate attempt to make it sound as though you were a true team player and not the mis-anthropic, work-hating malcontent that you actually are.

If this sounds familiar then fear not, you are not alone. The Daily Grindstone is here to help you through the perils of employment and give weight to your long held belief that, despite the hype, work just isn't that great. So... make another cup of tea (remember that a full kettle takes longer to boil and can add minutes to your break), get comfortable, and prepare to adjust the scales of the work-life balance a little more in your favour.

Saturday 26 February 2011

No sleep 'till Monday



So it’s Saturday and your plans for a slow and dozy recovery from last night’s excesses have gone sadly awry thanks to your inability to sleep past half past eight in the morning. Even as the last week fades into the annex of your biography, your very being remains firmly in the clutches of a merciless master. But is doesn’t have to…

The weekend is a green and fertile pasture which you must defend from foreign invaders. Nurture it with fond memories of debaucherous nights out, fine feasts, and tales of silliness and it will carry you through the week like a chauffeured and sound-proofed limousine. Fill it with worries and it will sink into a sea of neglected memories like an over laden rowing boat.

Never be tempted to contaminate the weekend with left over work or the writing of reports. If it was not-important enough to do in your employer’s time, then it is certainly not important enough to do in your own time. Even the mighty creator (be that evolution or god) didn’t bother to finish everything he started. If he had, bankers would have been blessed with a moral compass and we would not be closing down public libraries to a soundtrack of champagne corks popping in Canary Wharf.

Stay up late and sleep in. Only a few years ago you would have seen in the weekend by watching the sun rise over a can of Stella Artois. Ignore the callings of sleep and make up the thirty five hours that you have lost during the week. Just because you have promised your employer that you will be in the office at 9am on Monday morning, it doesn’t mean that you have to be productive. There is no greater pleasure than earning money whilst a hangover works its way out of your pores.

Most importantly, stop reading this post and pick up the phone to your friends. The weekend has landed and you must board the train of hedonism and stick two fingers up to Monday morning.
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2 comments:

  1. baili27 February 2011 at 06:26

    you write soo beautifully ,it is nice to stay and read.god bless

    ReplyDelete
  2. Gradgrind27 February 2011 at 12:47

    I'm not sure my employer would agree but thank you for your comments

    ReplyDelete

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