As another weekend draws to an untimely end, 35 hours of soul destroying tedium circles through your conscious like a corporate feathered vulture. Sunday's television schedule does little to distract you from the thoughts of a job that you once donned your finest suit to secure, and here, in a moment of depressing clarity is the realisation that, "this is your life." Instead of a red book filled with your greatest feats and wittiest one-liners, the best that you can achieve is two pages of Arial 11 point detailing your employment history and one or two hobbies that you added in a desperate attempt to make it sound as though you were a true team player and not the mis-anthropic, work-hating malcontent that you actually are.

If this sounds familiar then fear not, you are not alone. The Daily Grindstone is here to help you through the perils of employment and give weight to your long held belief that, despite the hype, work just isn't that great. So... make another cup of tea (remember that a full kettle takes longer to boil and can add minutes to your break), get comfortable, and prepare to adjust the scales of the work-life balance a little more in your favour.

Thursday, 10 March 2011

The wrongful Conviction of Monday morning

For as long as I can remember, I have been brainwashed into thinking that Monday is the most depressing day of the week. Like a gloomy fog rolling over the hills of the weekend, Monday descends to signal another 35 hours of hard labour. Now either my experience is unusual or, as I suspect, due to its pole position in the working week Monday has come into an unfair level of criticism. An innocent bystander at the crime scene of employment, Monday has endured years of wrongful accusations whilst the real criminal, Tuesday, has been allowed to carry out her work unheeded.
At the end of the working week, all worries and stresses are neatly packaged in ‘thought-tight’ containers and moved to the dusty alcoves of your mind. With 48 hours of freedom stretching out in front of you, there is no need to retain the key to this gloomy archive and in the pleasure zone of boozy nights at the pub, work will soon return to being little more than a distant memory.
Like all memories, come Monday morning, your recollection of work has faded like an antique photograph and the emotional peaks and troughs that you have previously endured are now nothing more than an agreeable flat-line. Despite a desire to remain in bed, your motivation to 'try harder this week’ is higher than it has ever been before, and with the new start, comes  a new desire to excel in your not-so-wretched career.
Come 5pm on Monday, the key to the hellish archive of work worries and stresses has been unsympathetically returned to your conscious. Turning the lock, you are engulfed by the horrors of last week and it suddenly dawns on you that tomorrow, you must do this all again. Like an angel of death, Tuesday hangs over your psyche waiting to strike you down.
Walking through the revolving office doors on Tuesday morning, a wave of depression will hit you like a tsunami, and despite your best efforts, you will once again succumb to the misery of corporate life. Whilst Monday has the decency to hide beneath the veils of the weekend, Tuesday will stand defiant and force you to endure the uncensored horrors of another week.

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